Here are some pictures that make me feel good:

Cade in NYC

G in NYC
Dahlia, Kelly and Heather at Kelly and Heatlher's birthday party

Us at Betsey Bosen's performance

Hahaha! Sorry Heather! (she is going to get even!) I love you!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's 86th birthday. We had a family party at his house but it is so strange not having my mom there. For one thing, we can't cook like she can! It was good getting together with the family. We have all been spending a lot of time together lately trying to keep my dad company and take care of him. We are now at the point where we need to make some decisions regarding his care. So hard. It has been good spending time with the family though. If we don't stick together we will fall apart.

Payton, Katrina, Jeramie and Shanda

Dal, Kelly, me, Payton, Cade and Shanda Hahaha! Shanda and Dahlia with the pig nose Dahlia made
Payton the mini-model
Me, Cade and Nell

Payton, Cade and Dahlia Grandpa and Payton
Payton
Ed, Dahlia, Grandpa and Kelly -- he is opening presents
Blowing out the candles
This is at Shanda's birthday party, Dahlia and Pernellie. How cute are they?
Shanda blowing out her candles
This picture makes me laugh. Dahlia stayed overnight and got up before I did. When I woke up she announced, "I dressed myself!" I can tell!!!
We had Bailey overnight last weekend. How cute is she? She wore us out!

I have had many friends who lost their mothers. I have always felt sympathy for them, but never really GOT IT until now. I wish I could go back and tell all of them (Marion, Rhonda, Heather, Suzie, Marian, Kathie) that now I get it. It is horrible.

Here is what I think: Today you have people around you who you love dearly. Give them a hug. Give them a kiss. Tell them you love them. Try to realize how much richness they add to your life and what it would be like if they were gone. Try to treasure NOW because this is all we have. Right now. I am going to give my husband a kiss and thank him for all of his support. Tomorrow I am going to give my dad a hug and tell him how much I love him and what an incredible father he has been to me and what an incredible grandfather he has been to his grandchildren. I am going to tell Payton and Dahlia and Kelly and Shanda that I love them. I think I will send a text to my friends and say "I love you!" What awesome friends I have! What did I do to deserve their love and support? When I am down they are there. How lucky am I? I love my three boys and their wonderful girls and my wonderful granddaughter. I love my family and friends so much and want them to know how they have enriched my life. If I am gone tomorrow I will be lucky because of the people I have had in my life. But please . . . no one else can leave me!

Happy Birthday G

Happy birthday Gentry. I can't tell you how much I miss you. You would be 31 today and I would give anything to have you here to celebrate. Our lives have changed so much since you left. I want to think that you are with Grandma, showing her around, and that you are doing some grandmother/grandson bonding. I want to think that you are happy and are following a path that you love. I want to think that I will see you again someday. One thing I know is that my love for you is forever and will never die. How I miss the way you would make me laugh -- I could use that right now. Give Grandma a kiss and tell her we all love her. Happy birthday G. XOXOXO

With Heather In NYC with Cade
NYC
Napping with Zoe

G and Heather
With Kris and Chrit

Central Park with Mom